Mariah vs Whitney
Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston have both been approached as possible judges on the next installment of American Idol. Being the helpful hand that I am, I have volunteered my services in devising the pros and cons to these choices.
- talent - five octaves. five.
- looks - ignore the chipmunk face, she's got a great body.
- fashion - she's done tearing designer gowns apart, thanks to andre talley.
- diva behavior - she's just too cool for parmesean cheese. her riders are a thing of legend - can the show support such reckless expenditure?
- ego - would undoubtedly fail to recognize simon cowell's pervasive genius.
- talent - sung backup for Chaka Khan. which almost makes up for the whole 'I Will Always Love You' thing.
- looks - hankie on head and oversized sunglasses make for glamorous, yet suspicious, television.
- fashion - see above.
- drugs - the excitement of downing painkillers with jesus juice is nothing compared to the barely contained hysteria of crack smoking.
- drugs - another stint in rehab could leave the show with just two judges.
- bobby brown - uh, she's married to bobby brown.