//Bad Llama\\



6.7.05

Mariah vs Whitney

Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston have both been approached as possible judges on the next installment of American Idol. Being the helpful hand that I am, I have volunteered my services in devising the pros and cons to these choices.

Mariah Carey

Pros
  • talent - five octaves. five.
  • looks - ignore the chipmunk face, she's got a great body.
  • fashion - she's done tearing designer gowns apart, thanks to andre talley.
Cons
  • diva behavior - she's just too cool for parmesean cheese. her riders are a thing of legend - can the show support such reckless expenditure?
  • ego - would undoubtedly fail to recognize simon cowell's pervasive genius.
Whitney Houston

Pros
  • talent - sung backup for Chaka Khan. which almost makes up for the whole 'I Will Always Love You' thing.
  • looks - hankie on head and oversized sunglasses make for glamorous, yet suspicious, television.
  • fashion - see above.
  • drugs - the excitement of downing painkillers with jesus juice is nothing compared to the barely contained hysteria of crack smoking.
Cons
  • drugs - another stint in rehab could leave the show with just two judges.
  • bobby brown - uh, she's married to bobby brown.






















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